Once I knew that I was going to be staying at home, I began to dream about what I would do with that much time. One of parts that I looked most forward to was the quiet time. My life had been more than a little loud for enough months that I was craving quiet. A month and a half into it, I am still grateful for the quiet around me. It helps to quiet the loud inside me. It helps me to pick out one thought at a time and actually think it through before deciding on next steps.
I also was excited about the amount of time I would have to write all the words that came into my head. I had big plans about how often I would write. I was certain that the words would only become more eloquent as I practiced my craft repeatedly. I was convinced that I would sit down in front of this computer and beautiful and powerful words would just flow out of my brain. A month and a half into it, there have been words, but none of them have been eloquent, few have been beautiful and most of them would have very little power.
Every time I think I have a topic or a feeling that I want to communicate, I get about three sentences in and I’m done. No creative comparisons, intriguing stories, or graphic worthy quotes. A complete lack of knowing how to put words in an order that they even made sense. Frustration took over and I got tired of fighting with it and so I really just stopped even trying to write. Since writing and speaking is what I dream of doing for a living, that’s a really bad deal. Writing is kind of a requirement for being a writer.
Asking my friends to pray that I got my words back seemed like the most logical idea. And so I did. What I didn’t think about when I made that decision was that my friends don’t ever just pray, they do something. They don’t ever stand by and watch me flounder or stay stuck in my own pity party. They either encourage me with their words, speak truth to me about my situation, or challenge me to drag myself out of my pit. They have been known to yank me out of that pit if I refuse to help myself. Thank God for those friends. They are a priceless gift and I treasure them.
This time it was Patti who took on the challenge, and she basically did all of the things I listed above. Patti is an incredible encourager. She does so well at loving people all the time, that when she says something kind it is easy to believe. Then she gave me a list of things I could write about – including not being able to write. Now, she is asking me what I am writing. The answer of, “nothing’, will only be accepted once or twice. So, I’m writing. This isn’t going to be the piece that goes viral and makes me an overnight sensation. It is still a start. Maybe there are just so many words in my head they are all jumbled and this will take some of them out of the equation. Whatever happens, I am grateful for Patti and all of the others who are loving me well through this journey.
A friend of Patti’s here. She is all those words you wrote about her, She is also right about you, the writer with no words. But with lots to write about. I was transfixed reading your blog. I found myself needing to read it to the end. The blogger with no words finding her words. You have a talent, please keep those words flowing. Can’t wait to hear what’s next. Your Facebook friend, Londa Farrell
Londa, that may be one of the greatest compliments I have ever recieved. Thank you for your encouragement and thank you for reading. It is a blessing getting to know you.