Sometimes I feel like a dirty, stinking liar. When I sing, “It Is Well With My Soul”, and my heart is hurting so badly I think it might burst, I think to myself, “why am I even singing?” Today while listening to music and just trying to worship God and relieve some burdens, I heard myself singing and had that exact thought. Even after the song was over, I was still trying to figure out how I could sing it with belief in my heart. I was really wondering how the author, who had just lost all of his daughters in a tragedy on the ocean, could even write it.
It took awhile for me to come to an understanding. My first thought was that “well” and “happy” are two very different words. Just like in any relationship where a deep love is involved there are times when the love is still present but there is very little if any “happy” involved. Love prevails and eventually the “happy” returns, but it is an ebb and flow.
My next thought was the one that really stood out to me. The words say, “It is well with my soul.” They don’t say, “It is well with my job”, “It is well with my bank account”, “It is well with my loss” or “it is well with my heart.” They say soul. And, it is always good with my soul because my soul belongs to a God who loves me and whose plan for me will work out for my ultimate good. My soul belongs eternally to a God who will eventually take me to be with Him forever in a place where there is no more pain. I’d say that is pretty good.
Even in the midst of tragedy, anguish, and grief it can be well with my soul. I can believe that it is because God will make it so. The state of my soul has absolutely nothing to do with the state of my circumstances, it has everything to do with the fact that God’s got it.
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