Music is one the most monumental ways I mark periods of my life. I was reminded of this truth a couple of days ago during a commercial. In the background of whatever was being advertised, I could hear a beautiful rock ballad being sung by Air Supply. I thought at the time, I am one of probably not very many, who not only recognize that song, but have seen that song performed live, and loved it. My feelings about that song now cannot quite be described as love.
None the less, it showed me how many of my thoughts and my emotions are tied to music. Music gives us the opportunity to identify other people and their thoughts and emotions, it gives us the chance to let out both positive and negative emotions and it based on what we feel when we hear it, it gives us some insight to how we are reacting to life around us.
There is a band called, Skillet. I would put them in the lighter side of heavy metal. I love Skillet. One of their songs is entitled, “It’s not me, it’s you”. During times in my life when I was very angry and I felt very much like someone else was to blame, this song helped me release many of those emotions. There may have been some pointing to an imaginary person in the air, or a lot of pointing. When I listen to my favorite praise and worship songs, my heart is filled with my love for God and I praise Him with my whole heart. There is often gestures with that too, I am one of those people who raises my arms in praise of my God. In both instances, I can get a clear picture of where my heart is based on my reactions to these songs.
Today marks at least step one in the forgiveness process. I know this because as I was listening to music just a few minutes ago, a song came on that had previously brought up much anger and frustration. My blood pressure would rise as I sang the words, almost pointing with my words at the people with whom I was so angry. Half way through singing the song today, I realized that I wasn’t singing with anger. I was instead, singing those words as a praise and as a victory song. I knew in that moment that there had been a shift.
In my lifetime, I have had plenty of opportunity to practice forgiveness. No doubt, this is something we have in common. Based on my experience, forgiveness is not as easy as taking one step forward. I know that I still have work to do. I know that I still need to pray that God would take away the hurt. I need to actively work on my own healing. A step in the right direction feels really good right now, though.
Analyzing thoughts and feelings is one of those characteristics that can be good, or not so good. As I thought about why it was that I had taken the first step towards complete forgiveness, I wondered what it was that brought about the healing. The words of a dear friend, a former colleague, and one of the kindest people I know came rushing back to me. One day I was complaining about the way people were behaving. In her gentlest voice, Pam said, “Don’t you hate it when people act human.” POW, right in the kisser! It hit me like a ton of bricks. We are all just people. We all act like humans and often that means that we aren’t very kind. Still, most of us are doing the very best we know how. My first step in forgiveness was realizing that the people who hurt me are human, just like me. What they did was wrong, but I don’t even want to think about how many times I have done the wrong thing or said the wrong thing. I can begin to forgive because I want to be forgiven. I can forgive because in Christ, I have been forgiven of more than even I can fathom.
If you haven’t heard the song, “The Sound of Surviving,” by Nichole Nordeman, I highly recommend it. Let me leave you with the lyrics to this incredible song. My hope is that instead of hearing these and being angry, you can hear them and believe that you to can keep climbing, you can keep on fighting.
The Sound of Surviving by Nichole Nordeman
“They told me
I’d never get to tell my story
Too many bullet holes
It would take a miracle
These voices
Inside my head like poison
Trying to steal my hope
Silencing my soul
But
my story is only now beginning
Don’t try to write my ending
Nobody gets to sing my song
This
is the sound of surviving
This is my farewell to fear
This is my whole heart deciding
I’m still here, I’m still here
And I’m not done fighting
This is the sound of surviving
These pieces
The ones that left me bleeding
Intended for my pain
Became the gift You gave me
I gathered those pieces into a mountain
My freedom is in view
I’m stronger than I knew
And
this hill is not the one I die on
I’m going to lift my eyes and
I’m going to keep on climbing
This is the sound of surviving”
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