I write everything but my signature on official paperwork in bright colors. My planners are covered in stickers. Yes, I said planners with an s. I have a slight addiction. I colored as an adult before adult coloring books were the cool thing to do. I not only write in my bible – I paint, draw, and illustrate in it. I love to create beautiful things.
Sometimes I create cards to place in a Loved Bible, sometimes I make collages to go in my journal, sometimes I make scrapbook pages. I spent most of my free time at my desk working on all things creative, until this latest season of depression.
For the past few months I have been almost unable to create anything. I have spent hours trying, mixing and matching stickers, colors and paper trying to make something, anything that was creative. My efforts were to no avail. I began to get more and more frustrated. Finally, I just stopped trying.
When I stopped, I lost a piece of myself. Creating is about so much more than the actual product. The process itself helps me to relax, to focus, and to worship the God who created me. So I have started back, slowly. This time I am not putting pressure on myself to make the perfect product. Instead, I am choosing to focus on the Creator of all things and allow my time with Him to be reflected in the way I rewrite a verse, or use stickers to create an image, or simply in the way I color on a page.
Each time I create I am building back up to being myself again. I am beginning to feel the joy of creating and communing with the Creator. I am beginning to breathe in the quiet moments that I find where the hard lessens and the creating takes precedence. It is helping me to work my way through the muck and grime of this hard season.
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