#Blissdom

When I read the giveaway post on her page, I knew I would win it. I didn’t know a single thing about the conference for which I had just entered myself and a close friend to win tickets. I just knew that God was in it and Jenny would be there. Those two facts were more than enough for me to dive right in. Adding Magda was a blessing, one I believed that we both needed. Watching Jenny say my name as the winner of the tickets still felt surreal. I hooped and hollered and danced around my living room. My excitement could not be contained. I told Magda first and then called or texted all my people to let them know that this was it. This was my break, my chance. My dreams of writing and speaking as a full time job seemed packaged with the tickets.  For months that happiness stayed with me. I was excited beyond words. As the months passed, I looked for a job to cover the expenses my former job had paid. I tried three and currently work two. It wasn’t enough. As the money slipped away so did my chances of going to the conference, and with it the spark of hope that had been kindled. Two weeks from tomorrow, women will descend upon Nashville, dreams in hand, with confident expectation that they are building the base for launching those dreams. I will not be among them. The goal now is to find a job. Dreams do not pay for food, or gas, or a home in which to live. For those who so generously gave prayers or money to help see that I could get there, I am grateful. You help me believe that it might happen someday. For now, I will set those dreams aside and focus on the needs at hand. Should they be dreams that God has written on my heart, He’ll show me when to pick them up again, and give me the means to do so.