Always Good

Reflecting back on the year has become more and more important to me. For far too long, I didn’t look closely at where I had been and where I was headed. I chose not to see how habits were forming, and becoming stronger through the years. I went into the New Year with hope that all the things would be different, better. I just never had any concrete steps to lead me to those changes. I was skating through life, falling frequently but never taking the time to learn to skate.

Now December brings with it both the anticipation of the coming of Jesus and the process of acknowledging what God has done in me and for me throughout the year. I take pen to paper so I can see what choices I have made that were positive and those that were not at all positive. I look back through my planner to remind me of what events brought joy, sorrow, and growth. Then, I think on it.

In 2016, I discovered that though there were intensely trying times, there was just as much joy as there was pain. In 2017, it led me to the conclusion that the year had tried to take me out. Looking through most of my posts from the last three years, the words hard, sad, discouraged and depressed were plentiful. I will not pretend for even a moment that those weren’t true or accurately descriptive. I will however, declare that there has been much beauty, encouragement,  and joy. There has been laughter, love, and excitement.

It is that declaration, that truth, on which I am choosing to focus. Life is not perfect, it is not all rainbows and unicorns. It is however, good. It is good because all of it is in the hand’s of a God who loves me, and you, and who is good. Everything that has happened, or will happen in my life has been first sifted through His hands. He goes before me and is always with me.

I am aware that to many that sounds like a cop out, a way to explain away the hard and make all the things seem okay. I have had those same thoughts, but 2018 has taught me different. In the midst of what often felt like impossible, God’s faithfulness became imprinted on my heart. When I questioned my circumstances, He would gently remind me, with those same circumstances, that good could always be found. When I felt alone, He used Scripture and people to encourage, comfort, and support me. When I was scared and called out to Him, He steadied my heart. There are big theological words that describe this experience. I don’t know them, but I do know that as I enter 2019, I am more convinced than ever that my God is who He says He is and He will do what He says He will do. When I choose to rest in Him, make and plan for goals that will bring Him glory, and trust Him to take the little I can give and turn it into something God-sized, then I really can hope.